Is Facebook & Twitter good for Americans?

After my earlier post, I started reflecting on when “hate” was so prevalent or rather when “hate” was so exposed.  Let’s be honest, “hate” has been around since Cain and Able so is it just now found a better vehicle to get out its hateful message.  We all know that is so much easier to be ugly via word than in person.  Well, hopefully it is or it should be.

So, is Facebook and Twitter good for our country or does it further divide us.  Does it create pages where we have deleted all of those that share a different vision of our world and only keep friends who think like us, look like us, post like us and respond like us?  Or, does it create pages where when one disagrees with your viewpoint and perhaps disagrees strongly, we use that time to rant against them and further the chasm that exists between us.  Because, the reason that their are red states and blue states with a huge population of one or another is that they do keep aligned with people of similar beliefs, etc.

How can Facebook and Twitter be used for good vs. destruction?  How can we not fall into the same left box as our right friends have and do?  How can we eliminate this “identity” politics that has consumed this past election and still remains to this day?  Because, I think all Americans cross beliefs in some areas.  But, when we vote we seldom do.

Who (what person) will come out of this time period, with a message that resonates with all Americans?  I saw recently that Ohio Gov. John Kasich denied a report that he’s considering teaming up with Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper for a bipartisan presidential ticket in 2020.  But, I thought that had tremendous merit.  Would that not be a way to build a bridge where both parties work together?  Or, am I just so naïve that I would like that to work just like I would like Puff the Magic Dragon to swing by and say, “hi.”

Would love to hear your thoughts on the subject!

xoxo DK

 

Head in the Sand

I suppose for the past few years that I have allowed myself to bury my head in the sand to how polarized our country has gotten or perhaps always was.  Wow – the hatred of people based solely on their race, ethnicity, religious choices and sexual orientation are shocking.

I know we were all paralyzed as we watched in horror what unfolded in Charlottesville last month where a young girl was murdered for using her first amendment right to freedom of speech.  Lucky that more people were not killed in that horrific terroristic act.

Which puzzles me sometimes?  We are so interested in ensuring that we lock down our borders or send the “Dreamers’ home before they take over or kill us all.  What about the terroristic acts that happen in our country by US citizens.  You can’t run from hate you have to stand up to hate like they were doing in Charlottesville and as they did in Boston.  #BostonProud.

What are your thoughts on the Dreamers?  I think this might be one of the most hideous things that our POTUS has done.  To try and send kids, teens and young adults that might have no memory of the country where they once lived.  And, people are like well if they wanted to become a citizen so bad then why didn’t they.  Like obtaining citizenship in the United States of America is equivalent to ordering a burger and shake at McDonalds.  It takes years to become a citizen sometimes 20+ years.

Yes, our immigration system and the path to citizenship is broken, but why punish these “Dreamers” for something that was done to them and for them.  Absolutely, their parents wanted to get to the USA and have a child so that their child could have a better life than his or her parents had.  I would do that for Coleman.

And, people who believe that this is our country dammit and you and you and you aren’t wanted here are the most racist human beings ever.  Why would I want to live next to them when I can live next to a “Dreamer” who will do everything in his or her power to abide by the laws because they want a life here so bad.

So, this jerk on Facebook went on a rant on me because I was for “Dreamers” staying in the country.  I will let you see some of his thoughts:

Don Dancer And while I’m at it Dave…a better option might be to offer an exchange program. 1 DACA child stays for every thousand democrats deported…I think all Americans could get behind that! Although we’d have one helluva time getting anyone to take the crazy turds!

Debbie Rainey Knight Well I am one of those crazy turds. Gotta luv us. I support the Dreamers staying in America. I too think of many going to a country that they may or may not have ever known. We forget that we hi-jacked America ourselves from the Indians. Maybe they should have shipped us back to where we all originated from too. Congress should be involved however and I hope they consider the Dreamer from Houston that was out trying to save lives and lost his own in the process.

Don Dancer 1. Uhm, what in the heck does DACA have to do with indians? Whatever natives were here, certainly had nothing to do with Latin America…completely different tribes. And those people violating our laws and borders are Spanish descendants, who actually have a worse history than the colonials that came here! And so they don’t have any rights over who we are and what we do, and we owe them nothing!!! 2. So, your implication is what? That because of the indians, we all must subject ourselves to destruction and the globalist demands? Well that’s just brilliant analysis there, we might as well all walk down to the Kool-Aid and take a drink and rid the world of our presence! 3. And lets get something straight here, the native tribes aren’t creating this issue, they aren’t working every angle to destroy our political economic and social fabric, the political left is…specifically, our little demoncrats!!! 4. I wonder if this support for the enemies of our nation really has anything to do with some right or wrong (considering these same people ask you to dawn a burqa and worship islam), or is it that you’re bought and paid for…those dems gotcha those property rights back in the 60’s, and so you get the kids, the house, and get to enslave us and take our money at a whim, and well that’s worth more than all of our lives? Hmmm? 5. So, the final analysis is this, old deb here says that all of this is about 800,000 poor migrants, who’ve never known a different home….and also, you stole the nation from the indians and so now you have to let Latin America destroy you….or you’re a racist (I’m assuming that’s coming in some response, it always does). Now, do you still believe this is all about some poor kids? NOPE!

Well, about this time, I saw my favorite, Susie, quote Ronald Reagan, so I thought I would do the same.  Yes, I just copied her thoughts and pasted on the feed:

Debbie Rainey Knight Also Don Dancer just so you know it’s not just us Turds that feel that way. Here is to one of the most iconic Republican Presidents of all time:

“I believe in the idea of amnesty for those who have put down roots and lived here, even though sometime back they may have entered illegally,” Ronald Reagan 1984

And then in 1986, President Reagan had Congress pass sweeping immigration reform giving amnesty to almost 3 million illegal immigrants.

That is my America. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Of course, was Don through?  No.

Don Dancer 1. You never denied any of my earlier charges, and so you accept responsibility for your treason & relationship with our enemies. 2. You have not one single argument to stand on, and so now you move on to Reagan? :)))
3. I’m not defending any man or woman that concedes the law, our borders, or sanity. Reagan or no Reagan. 4. Reagan had the luxury of these words. Now 30something years later his 3million has mushroomed to 50-100million more…if anything President Reagan’s decision should show the error in his judgement. Now, we face a population of 350 million in just a few years, an estimated 425million in 50 years, and the PEW research center ‘boasts’ of a doubling in population at 7-800 million within a century. That will destroy our environment and turn this place into a third world cesspool. 5. Still you reject logic and reason for a contemptuous path devoid of common sense…you are admittedly suicidal. The only contention at this point is whether you go alone or we all join you. I’m not following you to the kool-aid, and I pray the American people do not either.

Debbie Rainey Knight Don Dancer look Don – I don’t know you and don’t want to know you! I have known some illegal immigrants that are far more charming and smarter than the likes of you. I am not going to get in a war with you on FB. And I find David Holcomb silence to your rant against me highly disturbing. I usually quiet down haters on my page. America is better with people from different countries because if we don’t invite them in we will be left with racist people like you Don Dancer. And who the hell who is educated would want that. I know I must be communicating with someone that didn’t get past a HS education so I am done here. You must not feel capable of competing for jobs etc with people from other nationalities which is sad Don. You really believe you a white man are being discriminated against? Give me a break. If you aren’t getting the breaks in life that you want it is because of your crummy personality. Don’t ever respond to me again. Amy Dobbs Knight

David Holcomb Debbie Rainey Knight my apologies! I worked 15 hours yestersay and didnt do FB. i checked in today because i have something for sale and saw your post. i will comment later. Thoughts will forthcoming.

I mean which hole did this snake slither from.  And, this is the ignorance that we are fighting.  And, this is the ignorance that is winning.  Donald Trump might very well prevail in the next election because it is not just the Republicans who value putting on a Supreme Court Justice that will overturn Roe V. Wade but their are people who actually think Trump is best for America.  Because, he will make America “White” again.  That is all they care about.  And, I mean it give me any person (anyone) from a different race, gender, ethnicity, religious beliefs, and sexual orientation over the Don Dancers of the world.  Puuuleeeaseee!  What a sleaze!  Oh that rhymed!  That makes me happy when words work like that!  🙂

Trump is very much trying to destroy our Democracy.  And, the roll-over for a treat Republicans aren’t doing anything to stand in his way, or stand up for Democracy, or denounce hate by denouncing him, or saying if the Dreamer’s go so does Melania!  And, she can take that piece of carpet on his head as a souvenir.

#ByeFelicia

Let me know your thoughts on the Dreamers.  And, what can we do to start helping Democrats compete more strongly with the Midwest/South Republican party.

 

****************************UPDATE******************************************’

So, the more I reflected on my own post I went in and deleted my snarky post and posted this instead:

Debbie Rainey Knight I deleted my snarky reply earlier because I think that is part of our nations problems. Not listening to the other side. And as long as their is another side the change that everyone wants will never happen. Because 1/2 the country wants to send Dreamers home and the other half wants to keep them here. So until we learn to compromise neither side will be satisfied.

Since I was especially exposed for my comments I will attempt to explain them in a respectful way. When I say native Americans were the true occupants of this country then I also mean that the rest of us (Anglo Saxons) were not native to this country meaning we are descendants from immigrants. The original Anglo-Saxons slaughtered Native Americans because I suppose they objected to their lands just being confiscated by outsiders. And then our Anglo-Saxon ancestors decided that farming was to taxing of an occupation so we went and bought slaves who most were treated deplorably. Why? Because the white person always feels better, more education, more deserving than non-white people. I agree with some to say how would we treat immigrants from Canada, France, England, Spain, Australia etc. we would be welcoming because they are white. We only seem to be uncomfortable in welcoming Mexican immigrants and Muslim immigrants. One of the nicest families that I know is a family from Mexico that does my yard and others and my house and others. When my dad died they came to his visitation in Pine Bluff and his funeral. They loved my dad and I felt it and it was good and kind. They are good people and no one deserving of being sent back to Mexico. And I heard comments from posts saying “their population” will be x. Which is saying they will be the majority and white Americans will no longer be. We feel so entitled to everything when in reality we shouldn’t. Very Machiavellian of us to believe so.

And if we disagree we should disagree with civility and respect especially if we have children that could be influenced on how we debate a topic or agree to disagree.

In my opinion it’s time for the white male to face competition. You are no longer the alpha male so deal with it. Perhaps white males shouldn’t have felt so entitled all of these years. It’s hard to compete now a days with Indian doctors who are way smarter than we are but also study way more than we probably do.

Life and America is changing. The best way to enact change for the better is through compromise. If you can’t see a way to compromise then things might change in a way that works against your beliefs.

 

Fearless Women

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of meeting Rupa Dash, an Indian entrepreneur and filmmaker.  Mrs. Dash, an ardent advocate for social entrepreneurship, democracy building and leadership development for women, Co-Founded World Woman Foundation with Upendra K. Kar. The Foundation is widely recognized “Premier Women’s Leadership Institute” to support, promote and build legacy of women leadership in areas of Business, Entertainment, Science and Technology for gender harmony.

When I meet strong women like Rupa Dash it reminds me of other women who paved the way for us to not only be at the table but to have a voice at the table as well.  It brings to mind the statue, Fearless, that now resides in the financial sector of New York.   Stephen Tisdalle, CMO of State Street Global Advisors, put the statue there to call attention to the lack of gender diversity in boardrooms —  and of course, to itself.  The statue of a defiant young girl staring down a bull is a unique was to deliver an experience that celebrates the power of women in leadership.

There’s a quote by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich that states: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”  This sentiment is a celebration of women who choose to be defined by their courage, bravery and decisions to go after the life they want to live instead of being confined by “appropriateness.” Call them bold, fearless, or powerful, these are women who light up a room with their magnetic energy. Brenda Della Casa says, “They are women that intimidate the close-minded and inspire those who have long hungered for tangible proof that they, too, will serve themselves well by igniting their passions and relishing in their independence.”

Casa sites fifteen things alpha-women do differently:

1. They cultivate a life they actually enjoy living – they commit to creating and living a life they love.
2. They make their move – bold women would rather risk hearing “no” than sit on the sidelines and hope someone else will bring them the opportunity they desire.
3. They don’t put themselves down – fearless alpha women accept the fact that there will always be someone younger, smarter and thinner than they are and don’t stress it because, well, that’s not the point. They know they’re a whole package and that package is so f*cking awesome it demands to be spoken about with respect.
4. They don’t need a boyfriend but are open to a partner – Fearless women aren’t looking for a savior, a benefactor or boy toy. In fact, they are not even looking. The bold and fearless women is, however, excited when she meets a man who understands her, accepts her, respects her, respects himself and is looking in the same direction as she is.
5. They don’t spend time wishing – bold woman knows that the only thing the past can do for her is serve as a lesson in how to do better for herself here in the now.
6. They call people out – They aren’t the type of women who will sit silently in front of someone feeling disrespected or violated and then cry about it over cocktails. They will call those people out, set a boundary in place and move forward right then and there.
7. They know when to walk away – They know that bending themselves backwards, forward (and backwards again) in an attempt to make something work — a friendship, a relationship, a failed decision – usually means they’re investing time and energy into something that isn’t offering respectable returns.
8. They expect face time – Instead of spending hours replying to winky faces, these women encourage face-to-face contact because they know that any man who’s serious about them will want to see their real smile in real time.
9. They give themselves a real chance to meet someone – Swiping right has it’s place and Match.com has made some real-life connections, but these ladies know there’s a real value in getting out into the world and having human interaction in a space that’s supportive of an introduction.
10. They don’t pretend they are on an episode of “the Bachelor” – Compete for a man’s attention and affections? You’re kidding, right?
11. They also don’t pretend that they are a Kardashian – They aspire to be a star in reality over a reality star.
12. They see themselves as an Investment – From their word, work ethic and reputation to their friendships, manicure and handshake, these are the women who invest in themselves without the slightest bit of apology.
13. They don’t play the victim – They know they are in full and total control of how they react to a situation and when the going get’s tough, they learn their lesson, roll up their sleeves and get tougher.
14. They dare to go for it – Whatever “it” is — the job, the guy, the bucket-list experience or adopting a baby on their own, these women think things through, make a plan and bring their own unique idea of happiness into fruition.
15. They would never put their lives on hold to accommodate someone else’s idea of who they should be – Instead, they get into the driver’s seat, turn-up their favorite tunes and go in the direction of their dreams.

Man, I think Brenda Della Casa nailed it in her article, “15 Things All Badass, Fearless Alpha-Women Do Differently From Other Types Of Women.”  What was revealed to me after reading this article and the 15 things these women do differently, I am a Badass, Fearless Alpha-Woman.  And, you know what?  I offer up no apologies.

What about you?  Are you a Badass Fearless Alpha-Woman too?  If you are reading my blog, I know that you are either one or you are someone that supports us!  Please share your comments!

Facebook has a New Mission

I am a huge fan of Mark Zuckerberg.  There is so much to admire about this unassuming brilliant Harvard College Drop-Out that has amassed massive power, wealth and prestige and he just turned 33 in May.   He has met with world leaders like former President Barack Obama,  President Xi Jinping of China,  Prime Minister Narendra Modi of India,  Malaysian Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak,  President of Mexico Peña Nieto and the Pope, Pope Francis.  Astonishing!

I can tell that Mark Zuckerberg wants the very best people and then gives them the room to do the very best job in the job that they are skilled in.  All too often executives seem to be intimidated by talented people rather than embrace their skills and their performance because guess what – you hired them!  You are brilliant to bring in someone like him or her!  And, they will make your job easier!

Zuckerberg recently told CNN Tech, “It’s important to give people a voice, to get a diversity of opinions out there, but on top of that, you also need to do this work of building common ground so that way we can all move forward together.” The company even has a new mission statement: “To give people the power to build community and bring the world closer together.”

Now, if you take a gander at Mark Zuckerberg’s latest “light” reading you might have gotten a sense that something greater was calling him.  Here are his TOP 23:

The Books

• Book 1 – The End of Power
• Book 2 – The Better Angels of Our Nature
• Book 3 – Gang Leader for a Day
• Book 4 – On Immunity
• Book 5 – Creativity, Inc
• Book 6 -The Structure of Scientific Revolutions
• Book 7: Rational Ritual: Culture, Coordination, and Common Knowledge
• Book 8:Dealing with China: An Insider Unmasks the New Economic Superpower
• Book 9: Orwell’s Revenge. The 1984 Palimpsest
• Book 10: The New Jim Crow
• Book 11: Muqaddimah
• Book 12: Sapiens
• Book 13: The Player of Games
• Book 14: Energy: A Beginners Guide
• Book 15: Genome
• Book 16: The Varieties of Religious Experience
• Book 17: Portfolios of the Poor
• Book 18: Why Nations Fail
• Book 19: The Rational Optimist
• Book 20: The Tree-Body Problem
• Book 21: The Idea Factory
• Book 22: World Order by Henry Kissinger
• Book 23: The Beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch

 

You can even join his book club:  http://www.ayearofbooks.net/

I doubt I could even follow along with some of these books.  They truly look intimidating for someone with my IQ to tackle.  But, that makes him all the more fascinating.

Take his dress code.  He wears the same clothes every day.  Every day, he dons jeans and a grey shirt and sneakers.  Why you ask?  He wants to limit the number of decisions he has to make in a day and he would rather focus his brain power on more important stuff.  Who else wears the same or similar clothes every day?  Former Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, and also former President of the United States, Barack Obama.  Some days I can relate.  I look at my endless clothes and pants and declare that I have nothing to wear so I just stare hoping for inspiration!

Zuckerberg has stressed many times that he is not running for a political office and doesn’t have aspirations to be our Commander in Chief.  And, my response is, “Well, why the hell not!” If he does what he has set out to do, he will make Mother Theresa’s contributions pale in comparison.  He wants to fix the world our planet.  Let’s just start with the United States of America.  We will need a President like Mark Zuckerberg after this administration is either done or run out of office.  Let’s make America closer before tackling the rest of the world.

But at the end of the day, he is a very devoted husband and father, and you can tell how smitten he is with his wife and daughter by just watching his face soften when he looks at them or talks of them.  They take a honeymoon every year which I think is a grand idea for any of my married friends.  And you might have heard but, Mark and his wife, Priscilla, are pregnant with their second daughter.  So sweet!

Every night before going to bed, the Facebook CEO tucks Max in with a traditional Jewish prayer, the “Mi Shebeirach, a prayer for healing.”  It can be for one person or many people.  I think that is a great good night prayer best practice.  Children learn from parents who set these positive examples and he is showing his daughter the power of prayer.

May He who blessed our fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob bless (name) son of (father’s name), because he has come up for the honor of God, for the honor of the Torah and for the honor of the Shabbat (on festivals add: and for the honor of the festival). In this merit may the Holy One, blessed be He, protect and deliver him from all trouble and distress, and from all affliction and illness, and may He send blessing and success to all his endeavors (on festivals add: and may he be privileged to go up to the Beit Hamikdash for the festivals), together with all Israel his brethren; and let us say, Amen.

I almost forgot another thing I love about the Zuckerbergs and its their dog Beast!

Let me know if you too are a fan of Mark Zuckerberg and why!

 

 

 

The Uber Ouster and That Time I was Told to Sit Down and Shut Up

Sallie Krawcheck

CEO and Co-Founder of Ellevest

Well, she did it. Susan J Fowler set in motion the series of events that got Travis Kalanick ousted as CEO of Uber. Just as Gretchen Carlson did at Fox News with Roger Ailes. It was the voices of two women that ousted two powerful men, by telling their even-more-powerful stories. It had been pretty well-known that the culture of Uber and Fox News were each company hyper-masculine and hyper-competitive. But it was a singular voice, telling that one story of what it was like to be a woman working in these environments, that carried so much power at each.

On the other hand, this is not the only reason women’s voices are in the news these days: Arianna Huffington was interrupted by a sexist joke at an Uber all-hands meeting on – of all things – the company’s actions to improve its sexist culture. Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren have both been shushed; Kamala Harris being called “hysterical” on a CNN panel and Elizabeth Warren being called….well, lots of things.

I’ve been there: at Citi, I was literally told to “sit down and shut up” when I was fighting to reimburse client funds for losses on high-risk products – that we had mistakenly sold as low-risk – in the downturn of 2008. I was literally told those words: “Sit down and shut up.”

What’s playing out on these public stages is, of course, also happening in the workplace. There’s not a single professional woman I know who doesn’t have story after story after story of being “shushed,” or talked over, or interrupted, or not heard. And in almost every women’s group I speak to, the questions of “How can I be heard at work?” or “How did you manage to be heard in a male environment?” are asked. Being heard is, after all, a key precondition for being recognized at work, for getting that raise, for moving ahead, for getting promoted.

The answer? Well, an all-male PR panel (a “manel”) recently told women the solution is “speaking up more loudly.” Gee, thanks, guys. That should do the trick…..

Or not.

Here’s how I managed it, day to day: when I worked on Wall Street, I made sure I was “the one with the numbers,” either as a research analyst or CFO. In such an analytical environment, I figured that if I had the numbers, then I had “the answers”…and so people would want to hear what I had to say. I also intuitively figured that if I was sharing facts, the leadership team would get used to hearing from me….and then I could also begin to share opinions.

My other tactic was using humor when spoken over, to soften the back and forth out a bit, and to draw attention to being interrupted without seeming angry.

A tactic that other women (including those in the Obama White House) have used effectively is for several of them to agree to underscore each other’s ideas in a meeting, making sure credit goes to the woman who introduced the idea.

I’ll be honest: my approaches to being heard sometimes worked, and sometimes they didn’t…and it typically was pretty dependent on who my boss was. For example, in one of my 360-degree performance reviews, I was told I was both too aggressive and not assertive enough – that “my voice” was both too loud and not loud enough. (So much for the advice to “speak up more loudly.”) When I asked my boss how to interpret this and to help me to navigate through it, he told me it was up to me to figure it out.

In contrast, I’ve also had bosses who’ve made sure I’ve been heard, who have asked for my point of view in meetings, who have not made a decision until all voices in the room were invited to speak.

So, some important advice: get yourself a great boss….if you can.

That said, the ultimate solution for Susan and Gretchen – and for myself, in those tough environments – was to leave. I have been fortunate enough to start a business as my next chapter. By doing this, the market determines our success, rather than it being the partial result of navigating this type of minefield. But make no mistake, we were each fortunate enough to have the means to do so….means that so many women don’t have.

At its root, we should recognize that this tug-of-war over who is shushing and who is talking is all about power. So my work is all about how to get women more power: in my bio, it says my “professional mission is to help women reach their professional and financial goals.” But, to be more direct, my mission is to get women more money, by closing their gender investing gap and their other gender money gaps.

After all, money is power. And greater financial security in turn gets women more power…power that we can use to start our own businesses, if we choose; to pull a Susan Fowler if needed; to quit a dead end job with a deadbeat boss; to leave a bad personal relationship…..and even to interrupt the guys. Oh, and in doing so to make the business world better for other women (and the guys too….I’ll bet a lot of them could use a break from those cultures, right?).

Cheers to Susan Fowler and Gretchen Carlson. And thank you.

Sallie Krawcheck is the CEO and Co-Founder of Ellevest, an innovative digital investment platform for women. She is also the Chair of Ellevate Network and the Pax Ellevate Global Women’s Index Fund and the best-selling author of Own It: The Power of Women at Work.

Misogyny

Misogyny was on full display once again in the Senate Intel Committee’s Hearing when Democratic Senator Kamala Harris was asking tough questions of the Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein.  What she was asking was completely relevant and wasn’t even as testy as some of the male exchanges with the panel.

Senator Harris asked Rosenstein if he would send a letter to Special Counsel Robert Mueller giving him complete independence in his probe into possible ties between President Donald Trump’s campaign and Russia.  She was first interrupted by Senator John McCain asking the Chairman to allow the witness to answer her question.  Then the Chair of the Committee, Senator Richard Burr, interrupted her and said:  “The chair is going to exercise the right to allow the witnesses to answer the question, and the committee is on notice to provide the witnesses the courtesy — which has not been extended all the way across — extend the courtesy for questions to get answered.”

If you remember this follows a similar exchange with Senator Elizabeth Warren was shut down while she reading a letter by Martin Luther King Jr’s widow, Coretta Scott King, which was critical of then-Senate colleague and attorney general nominee Jeff Sessions. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Warren was given an explanation, but “nevertheless, she persisted” — words that Harris and others later called a “rallying cry” for women.

The exchange between Senator Harris and Senator Burr prompted Senator Elizabeth Warren to tweet the following statement:

Warren also tweeted: “Silencing @SenKamalaHarris for not being “courteous” enough is just unbelievable. Keep fighting, Kamala! #NeverthelessShePersisted”

Even some of Senator Kamala Harris’ Democratic colleagues came to her defense after the hearing adjourned:

After the intelligence hearing, Oregon Sen. Ron Wyden, a senior Democrat on the panel, tweeted: “@SenKamalaHarris was getting facts onto the record. I was not interrupted by @senatorburr when I asked tough questions. She was.”

Unfortunately, I experience it daily.  Patronizing males who talk down to me like I am 4.  Ugh!  Even yesterday I experienced it in our loan committee meeting by simply asking a question about one of our customer’s loan requests that was dragging along at a snail’s pace.  You could see how offended multiple people were just by me asking the question.  Like how dare you question us.  After all, we are older white males AND a Commercial Lender which automatically makes us smarter and more important than the likes of you.

I read somewhere recently that people will vote for a man if he’s qualified – or even if he’s unqualified – if they like him or don’t like him. But they won’t vote for a woman they don’t like.  And, people that I talked to about HRC had a vitriol dislike of her.  I mean it went beyond even hate.

Sheryl Sandberg recently was quoted as saying, “No matter how challenging it looks, history is on our side. Lean in harder. We will get there.”

I have at times tried to lean in like my male counterparts.  I was let go once for it and was chastised and sidelined the second time.  Sometimes those experiences make us less inclined to lean in harder but I too feel like Sheryl Sandberg and know no matter the brick wall that we are pushing against keep pushing.  We have borne witness to walls coming down!

Would love to hear your thoughts on misogyny.

 

 

 

 

 

Be a Mentor

I was so excited this week because someone I nominated for Little Rock Soiree’s Women 2 Watch got selected!  Of course, she was deserving because she is brilliant, articulate, honest, and has a true servant’s heart.  After I knew she was selected, I let her in on my secret nomination of her.  Because, I knew she would protest if I told her beforehand.  Here was her sweet response:

Oh, Debbie! That was so incredibly nice of you to nominate me! I asked them who nominated me so I could thank them and they told me they weren’t allowed to disclose that information 😦

Thank you, Debbie, for all of your support. You are such a “lean in” woman and I am grateful to know someone like you who is so committed to encouraging and supporting female leadership. You are amazing and I can’t thank you enough for all of the opportunities you have connected me with.

It is interesting for me because I don’t seek out becoming a mentor like all of the blogs tell women that we should do.  Rather, I find young women that I fall in love with because of their unique stories, skills, passion and so many more attributes.  And, I truly feel blessed by interacting with these amazing ladies.  And, if I can do anything to help them succeed; why wouldn’t I?

I have been so lucky to have some great mentors in my life but only one has been truly life changing!  And, that is my good friend and forever boss, Susie Smith.  I will have to admit to being completely intimidated by Susie when we first met because she is also brilliant, passionate, extremely capable, and a strong independent person who will deliver a perfectly executed zinger in a blink of an eye.  (So, don’t fault me, many men were intimidated too!)  But, I absolutely would not be where I am today if it weren’t for her belief in me, her encouragement, her support in good times and bad times and above all the example she provided me and so many others!   She serves as the enabler of talent, culture and results.

She too has done for me all of the things recommended for a mentor:

1.  Find a woman to mentor:   And, since I am further along in my career, I believe in paying it forward by investing in a woman just starting out or someone capable of so much more.
2. Invest in your mentee’s success –  It is important to commit time and energy to developing a mentee. We should take the time to understand her questions and give her thoughtful and thorough input.
3. Give open, honest input—even when it’s hard – This is soooo important and may hurt the mentee’s feeling but you want to set her up for success.  A personal example:  I must admit I am not the best writer and use incorrect grammar at times and I have been called out for it.   I hope they knew that I had an opportunity one day to work on an executive team and with Board of Directors and wanted me to be my very best!  “When you are living the best version of yourself you inspire others to live the best versions of themselves.”  – Steve Maraboli
4. Don’t just Mentor – Sponsor! – The best mentors go beyond mentorship and advocate for their mentees. Endorse her on social media. Do what I did and recommend her for a high-profile opportunity. Introduce her to people in your network. Find ways to open doors for her and invest in her success.

Go find a mentee today!  Pay it forward!  It will reward you many times over!

 

 

The American President

I don’t know about you but I am a sucker for any Romance Movie regardless of how cheesy it might be.  And, one of my movie favorites was The American President starring Michael Douglass, Martin Sheen and Annette Benning.  And, in that movie, there was a scene in which Martin Sheen’s character was encouraging Michael Douglass’s character, the President, to be more transparent and in the absence of leadership people will turn to get leadership elsewhere.  Here is the movie quote:

Lewis: People want leadership. And in the absence of genuine leadership, they will listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership, Mr. President. They’re so thirsty for it, they’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there’s no water, they’ll drink the sand.

 Shepard: Lewis, we’ve had Presidents who were beloved, who couldn’t find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don’t drink the sand because they’re thirsty, Lewis. They drink it because they don’t know the difference.

Wow, who would have ever thought that the movie, The American President, could be relevant to explain the craziness coming out of the office of a truly elected President.  Both men’s statements apply today, and let me illustrate why I think so!

Let’s think back to last week, when Trump made the decision, along with Syria and Nicaragua, to exit the Paris Climate Accord.  Even after he had some of the leading corporate giants encouraging him to stay in  Here is what they had to say:

“Continued U.S. participation in the agreement benefits U.S. businesses and the U.S. economy in many ways,” the companies argue. “As other countries invest in advance technologies and move forward with the Paris Agreement, we believe the United States can best exercise global leadership in advance U.S. interest by remaining a full partner in this vital global effort.”  Signed by Adobe, Apple, ConocoPhillips, Exxon, Facebook, Google, Hewlett Packard, Intel, Salesforce, Tesla and more. 

Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, has quit two of President Trump’s business advisory councils after the president announced he will pull the U.S. out of the historic Paris climate agreement.

Disney CEO Bob Iger announced that he’s resigning from the Strategic and Policy Forum. “As a matter of principle, I’ve resigned from the President’s Council over the #ParisAgreement withdrawal,” Iger said on Twitter.

And, when we would ever want to share company with the likes of Syria and Nicaragua.  Our POTUS outlined that he was keeping his campaign promises citing that as one of the reasons for exiting the Paris Climate Accord.  Look, I have to be honest, I am not sure what percentage of his voters could speak intelligently on that subject whatsoever.

So, I found myself in search of true leadership,  watching with envy as other World Leaders came forward to speak about the United States decision to exit the Paris Climate Accord.  Here is an excerpt from newly elected French President Emmanuel Macron where he actually used Trump’s famous line as a jab to our POTUS:

“To all scientists, engineers, engineers, entrepreneurs, responsible citizens who were disappointed by the decision of the United States, I want to say that they will find in France a second homeland,” Emmanuel Macron said in his response to Trump. “I call on them: Come and work here with us — to work together on concrete solutions for our climate, our environment. I can assure you, France will not give up the fight.”

I wish to tell the United States: France believes in you. The world believes in you. I know that you’re a great nation,” he said. “I want to say that they will find in France a second homeland,” he said.

“We all share the same responsibility: make our planet great again.”

When did the United States not want to be the World Leader.  How does losing that world footing help make America great again?  In just a few months, he has diminished the office of the Presidency and our Nation’s place at the World’s Table.

The next great point in the movie:  People don’t drink the sand because they’re thirsty, Lewis. They drink it because they don’t know the difference.  President Andrew Shepherd is basically saying that the American people are too stupid to know the difference between a good leader and a bad leader.  That was the turning point of the movie because it is then that he realizes that as the leader of the people, it is his responsibility to ensure that his followers, the American people, are not simply used as political pawns but educated on issues so that they can make good decisions and feel good about their lives.

Do you think Trump uses his contingent as political pawns?  Yes.  Do you think he hopes that his contingent believes everything he says on Twitter or rallies as the Gospel (Fake News and all)?  Yes.

Let me know what you think by commenting on the post!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inaugural Post

“Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt and being real gets you hated.”  Did any of you feel this way after this Presidential Election?  I know I did and I also felt myself hating others for feeling the way they did.  Yes, I am a liberal female!  You might ask what is a liberal female.  And, I would tell you the definition is a woman who believes these issues are of a great import:   reproductive rights and abortion access, sexual harassment, voting, education, fair compensation for work, affordable childcare, affordable health care, and bringing to light the frequency of sexual and domestic violence against women.

When Samantha Bee debuted her late night show, she opened with this monologue:  “Don’t watch my new show just because I’m a woman,” Bee jokes in the promo. “Watch because of my nuanced perspective on world events, my repartee with newsmakers across the ideological spectrum, and of course, these,” she says, lifting her skirt to reveal some comically large prosthetic testicles. It seems ridiculous that in 2015 a gag about needing a Y chromosome to host a late-night talk show would be so cutting, but that’s how slow change has been in coming to this particular school of television.

And, we can say the Y chromosome is still the one in charge in most business, government, board rooms, C-Suites, and especially in Politics.  Do I believe misogyny played a role in Hillary Clinton not getting elected?  You bet I do.  Most people who didn’t know what that word meant never took the time to look it up either.  Do I believe that race played a role in why former President Barack Obama was so disliked by many?  You bet I do.

So, what to expect from the DK Keeping It Real Blog?  There will be tons of humor because I like to laugh!  There will be tons of talk about the stuff that makes me go WTW (What the What)!  There will be suggestions on how women can lean in and be a force to be reckoned with!  And, there will be features from guests to weigh in on important stuff – stuff that impacts our lives, our work, our children and our climate!